How to Protect Your Energy When You're Stuck in a Toxic Environment

How to Protect Your Energy When You're Stuck in a Toxic Environment

Yesterday, a mom asked me to bring her kid home with mine after a class. It should have been a nice moment —

but instead, my mind spiraled. First, the discomfort of driving him in our 25-year-old car. Then the panic about what to do with him afterward — there’s no way anyone can come into our crumbling, crowded "home." That wave of shame and frustration hit hard.

But here’s the thing — even when I’m in a good state of mind, these moments keep happening. The dirty dishes

in the sink, the mess left by someone who takes zero responsibility for the house or the kids — these constant hits keep knocking me down. It’s like trying to meditate while someone’s poking you over and over with a stick. Of course it’s hard to find your zen.

If you’ve ever tried to change your mindset, only to be dragged back down by the realities of your environment — you’re not failing. Your brain is doing exactly what it’s wired to do in survival mode: scan for threats and respond to them. The key isn’t to fix the environment (because sometimes you can’t) — it’s to protect your energy so you stop getting emotionally hijacked by it.

Here’s how to create that shield and reclaim your energy, even when the chaos around you isn’t changing:

--> You can download a free Protect Your Energy cheat sheet at the end of this post.

1. Create an Internal "Buffer" (The Pause)

When you feel that hit — the dirty dishes, the pile of laundry, the constant noise — instead of reacting immediately:

• Stop. Take a deep breath.

• Say internally: "This is not mine to carry."

• Just that pause alone starts to rewire your nervous system to stop going into fight-or-flight mode.

➡️ Example: Instead of spiraling into anger about the dishes, I stop, breathe, and remind myself: "This is his energy, not mine."

2. Energetic Detachment: "Return to Sender"

When you feel that familiar resentment or frustration rising, try this:

• Close your eyes and visualize handing the energy back to the source.

• Imagine it floating away from you, like a balloon drifting off into the sky.

• Say: "This is your energy, not mine."

This might sound a little woo-woo, but it works because your brain responds to the imagery — it separates their behavior from your emotional state.

➡️ Example:  When I see his dirty dishes, instead of putting on my Passive Aggressive Black Belt, I mentally imagine handing the mess back to him. "This is not mine to fix."

3. Create Micro Boundaries

Even if you can't control the whole house, you can carve out small areas that are yours.

• Keep one corner, shelf, or surface completely clean and peaceful.

• When the mess feels overwhelming, sit near or look at that space as a grounding reminder: This is mine. This is my energy.

➡️ Example:I keep one small side table next to my bed completely clear — no toys, no clutter. Sitting next to it when things feel chaotic reminds me that I do have control over my space. The dishes? It felt painfully petty at first, but toxic people require boundaries we wouldn’t normally use. So, yeah, I wash my dishes and leave his in the sink.

4. Use a "Reframe Mantra" for Constant Hits

When the resentment and frustration hit, reframe it immediately:

• "He’s showing me why I need to create something better."

• "This is why I’m changing my life."

• "I don’t have to fix this for him. I am building my own path."

➡️ Example: Instead of spiraling when I see his dishes, I tell myself: "This is why I’m working toward something better."  I actually started feeling grateful for these reminders to focus on my exit strategy.

5. Physical Discharge

Anger and resentment build up physically — so you need to release it from your body:

• Shake out your arms or legs for 30 seconds.

• Clap your hands loudly to release the energetic tension.

• Do a quick stretch or jump up and down.

➡️ Example: After a "dirty dishes moment," I shake out my hands and jump up and down for 10 seconds. It helps reset the tension. For extra tough moments, I get on the kid's mini trampoline.

6. Protective Visualization Before Interactions

If you know you’re about to face his energy:

• Close your eyes for 10 seconds.

• Imagine a clear, protective bubble around you.

• See the negative energy bouncing off the bubble.

• Say to yourself: "His energy cannot enter my space."

➡️ Example: If I know I’m going to pass him in the hallway, I visualize a protective bubble so his energy doesn’t stick to me.

7. Own Your Exit Strategy

You might still be stuck right now — but that’s not permanent.

• Every time you protect your energy, you’re building the foundation for your future.

• Remind yourself: "This is temporary. I am creating my new life."

➡️ Example: When I feel hopeless, I remind myself: "I’m already changing things. Every small shift matters."

This Isn’t About Ignoring the Problem — It’s About Reclaiming Your Power

Protecting your energy doesn’t mean pretending things are fine. It means refusing to let someone else’s neglect, mess, or energy control your emotional state. It means choosing peace — even in the middle of chaos.

And every time you succeed, you’re strengthening the muscle that will eventually pull you out of that environment.

The dirty dishes won’t go away overnight — but your emotional reaction to them can. That’s how you reclaim your power.

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