My Journey: The Birth of Following Sparks

The Descent into Darkness

For over 20 years, I lived in emotional and financial abuse. Like so many women, I didn’t see the red flags at first. But slowly, piece by piece, I was stripped of my autonomy, my self-worth, my ability to even imagine a way out.

For two decades, I lived in a world that grew smaller by the day. I was a foreigner in a country far from home, isolated from family and friends. I had two beautiful children who became my world, but also anchored me to a situation that seemed impossible to escape.

But here’s what I know now: my path to Stuckville isn’t the only path.

Maybe you didn’t live through an abusive relationship. Maybe your stuckness comes from something else.

• Maybe you grew up in a house where anger was loud, but love was silent.

• Maybe you were raised to be the “good girl,” the “selfless mother,” the “quiet wife.”

• Maybe you spent years being gaslit by people who told you your reality wasn’t real.

• Maybe you were always too much, too emotional, too sensitive—so you started shutting down.

• Maybe you followed the “right” path—only to wake up one day realizing none of it feels like you.

Whatever led you here, one thing is true: you were conditioned to disconnect from yourself. And if you’ve spent years feeling like something is missing, like you can’t quite feel the life you’re living—that’s not a personal failure. That’s the system working exactly as it was designed to.

The Invisibility of Struggle

From the outside, my life looked… fine. Friends would visit once a year and ask, “So, what’s new?” I’d scramble for something to say—some proof that my life was moving forward—only for them to sum up my entire existence with:

"Oh. So, nothing’s changed?"

That sentence cut like a knife. Not because it was meant to hurt, but because it was true. I was trapped. And worse? No one saw it.

Because that’s what happens when women are slowly erased—people stop noticing.

Maybe you’ve felt that too. Maybe you’ve tried to explain your exhaustion, your lostness, your disconnection—only to be met with confusion, indifference, or judgment.

"Why don’t you just leave?"
"You just need to think more positively."
"Have you tried manifesting?"
"It’s all in your head."

The Turning Point

One day, while walking my dog, I had an epiphany.

I had two choices:

1️⃣ Keep waking up every day just trying to survive—stuck in the cycle, exhausted, and numb.
2️⃣ Make the decision to change, even if I had no idea what change looked like.

Option one? Guaranteed suffering. A lifetime of waking up, feeling this same unbearable stuckness.

Option two? Terrifying. But at least it was something different.

I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t have clarity. I didn’t have a single clue how to rebuild. But I made one choice that day:

🔥 I would follow the sparks.

Even if they were tiny, fleeting, barely visible. Even if they disappeared as soon as I noticed them. I would follow any moment that made me feel even the slightest flicker of aliveness.

That’s where this journey began.

The Birth of Following Sparks

The name came from one of those sparks.

I was practicing heart breathing—breathing deeply into my chest, trying to feel love for my children. And I couldn’t. Years of abuse had left me numb. I knew I loved them, logically—but I couldn’t feel it.

I tried over and over. And then, one day, for a fraction of a second, I felt it. Just a flicker of warmth. And then it was gone.

But it was there. And that was enough.

Because healing doesn’t come in big, dramatic breakthroughs. It comes in tiny, nearly invisible moments of feeling something real again.

That’s what Following Sparks is about.

The Mission of Following Sparks

I created this space for women who feel stuck—not just because of personal circumstances, but because the world has conditioned them to be.

It’s for the women who:
🔥 Have been told to “just move on” one too many times.
🔥 Have spent years giving, pleasing, and shrinking.
🔥 Know, deep down, that they were meant for more—but can’t see the way out.

You don’t need a 10-step plan. You don’t need another self-help book. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight.

You just need to start following the sparks.

This is where we Awaken. Question. Rediscover. Reclaim.

One tiny spark at a time.

✨ Start Here:
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