My Journey: The Birth of Following Sparks

The Descent into Darkness

Twenty years ago, I fell into what I didn't realize was a mentally and financially abusive relationship. Like many women in similar situations, I didn't see the red flags at first. As time passed, I found myself slowly but surely being stripped of my autonomy, my self-worth, and my financial independence.

For two decades, I lived in a world that grew smaller by the day. I was a foreigner in a country far from home, isolated from family and friends. I had two beautiful children who became my world, but also anchored me to a situation that seemed impossible to escape.

The Invisibility of Struggle

From the outside, people couldn't see the depth of my struggle. Friends would visit once a year, asking what was new in my life. After listening to my rambling attempts to find something positive to share, they'd invariably sum up my year with a casual, "I see nothing has changed."

Those words, though not meant to hurt, cut deep. They highlighted the stagnation of my life, the seemingly insurmountable wall I faced every day. What they couldn't see was the daily battle I fought, living with my abuser in a tiny, crumbling home, trying desperately to create a semblance of normalcy for my children.

The Weight of Societal Expectations

As I struggled, I began to notice a pervasive attitude in society. There was an unspoken belief that I should "just figure things out," "get over it," "move on." The message was clear: no one was coming to save me.

This realization opened my eyes to a harsh truth. Many people believe they are where they are because they did everything right, failing to acknowledge the network of support and circumstances that helped them along the way. For someone trapped in abuse and poverty, without that support system, the climb out feels impossibly steep.

The Turning Point

One day, while walking my dog, I had an epiphany. I realized I had two choices:

1. Continue waking up each day, seeing and feeling the weight of my situation, gathering just enough strength to survive another 24 hours - and repeat this cycle for years to come.

2. Make the decision to change, even if I couldn't yet see what that change might look like.

The first option, I realized, was the worst possible choice. It was a path to nowhere, a guarantee of continued suffering. And so, despite my exhaustion and inability to even imagine a different life, I chose the second option.

The Birth of Following Sparks

This decision led to the creation of Following Sparks. The name came from a profound experience I had while learning about heart breathing. The technique involves taking a breath from your belly, pulling it into your heart while focusing on someone you love.

When I first tried this, I was terrified. Logically, I knew how much I loved my children, but I couldn't feel it. Years of abuse and struggle had left me numb, disconnected from my own emotions. I tried repeatedly, and then one day, for just a fleeting second, I felt it - that otherworldly feeling of pure love and gratitude.

I couldn't hold onto it, but that tiny spark was there. And I realized - this is how healing begins. Not with grand gestures or immediate transformations, but with the tiniest sparks of feeling, of hope, of change.

The Mission of Following Sparks

Following Sparks is born from this understanding. It's a platform for women who feel absolutely stuck, who can't see a way out of their current situation. It's for those who have been told to "just get over it" one too many times, who can't even begin to imagine what a different life might look like.

My mission is to help these women nurture those tiny sparks - moments of joy, flashes of hope, seconds of peace. I believe that by focusing on these sparks, by following where they lead, we can gradually light the way to a new life.

We offer resources, community, and support, all centered around the idea that change begins with the smallest step. Whether it's through mindfulness exercises, sharing stories, or providing practical advice on rebuilding one's life, Following Sparks is here to guide women from darkness into light, one tiny spark at a time.

Join us on this journey of rediscovery and renewal. Together, we can turn sparks into flames, and flames into the fire of a life reclaimed.

If you need some gentle nudges to get those first sparks to appear, head to my resource page and start with the free downloads. Their job is to nudge with love.