Following Sparks to Your True Self

Rediscover the True You by Following Your Sparks

For pretty much my entire life, I believed that saying "yes" to what made me happy was a bad thing. I felt shame and guilt for wanting to pursue things that lit me up. Having Boomer parents certainly didn't help. I rembember fighting against taking a summer job at an animal testing facility being told that I "wasn't supposed to like" my work.

I rebelled, but only just enough to get me away from doing things that I really felt bad doing (I did not take that job) but never pushed to actually follow my heart and do what I wanted. And the guilt of simply wanting those "wrong" things led me to a very safe and mediocre life that evenutally took ME-my true, authentic self-out of the picture.

I'm going to guess that you have some version of a similar story that also led you to feeling like you lost yourself.

Many of us have been taught to be afraid of our dreams . We feel loved and accepted when we play small, stay in line, and ignore the whispers of our hearts. But what if we’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if our desires, those deep sparks that come from our souls, are actually the key to rediscovering who we truly are?

Sparks Aren’t Dangerous, They’re Liberating

When we say "yes" to the things that light us up, something magical happens. We start saying "no" to the things that have held us back: toxic relationships, endless lists of "shoulds", and the fear of taking up space. Our sparks hold power because they lead us back to ourselves.

While I am talking about BIG sparks and desires, the fact is that most of us live a life where we are even afraid to indulge the tiniest sparks. How many times have you seen something beautiful, like a colorful bunch of flowers at the grocery store, and immeiately tsk-tsked yourself for wanting to buy them? It's not a special occasion! What a waste of money! You don't need those!

What could happen if you turned toward that inital spark of joy? Imagine bringing those flowers home and putting them on your desk. That small act is a spark, a reminder that your joy matters. Your heart deserves to be listened to, not silenced.

It’s Okay for It to Be Messy

Here’s the truth: Following your sparks isn’t always a neat, linear path filled with rainbows and unicorns. It might look like raising your standards and losing friends who don’t understand. It might feel like shedding old layers of yourself that no longer fit. It can be scary to embrace what you want when the world around you tells you it’s selfish or wrong.

But the messiness is where the magic lies. In this process, you’ll find the parts of yourself you’ve been missing. You’ll discover that your sparks were never something to be ashamed of—they were the perfect specks of light showing up to light your path.

The Work of Saying “Yes” to You

Let me ask you: The next time you see something that lights you up, can you let yourself say yes? Can you buy the flowers, stay home to rest, or take a walk just because it feels good?

And when that spark fades, can you say yes to the next one?

Following your sparks doesn’t have to mean upending your entire life. It means giving yourself permission to follow joy, even in the smallest of moments. Over time, as you continue to honor what lights you up, the voices that tell you you’re not enough or that you "should" this and "should" that will fade away.

The Journey Back to You

This is what it takes to reclaim your sparks. It’s the work of unraveling old scripts, rediscovering your voice, and giving yourself permission to live fully and authentically. And yes, it will get messy. But in that mess, you’ll find something far more valuable than perfection: You’ll find yourself.

Want Some Guidance?

If you are ready to to start the journey back to you by saying yes to what lights you up-BUT you don't even know what the heck lights you up, I got you.

A great way to start seeing little sparks again, is to break patterns. A simple and (usually) fun way is with creativity. Doing silly little micro-actions that you normally would not think to do, creates shifts and space emotionally and mentally so that the sparks show up.

I have a wonderul freebie of 5 checklists that you can download and put to use right now.

To dive deeper and really explore what lights you up, check the workbook, Finding your Sparks in my shop.