No More Wasted Energy: Shifting Focus from Endless Explanations to Finding Our Sparks

From Explaining to Creating: Reclaiming Your Energy for What Truly Matters

If you’ve ever found yourself tangled in the endless loop of trying to explain, defend, and reason with someone determined not to understand, you’re not alone. There’s an almost addictive pull to clarify ourselves, hoping that this time they’ll finally get it. But what if we decided to break the cycle? What if, instead of analyzing every twist

and turn of someone else’s words, we used that energy to build up our own lives?

That’s what Following Sparks means for me. I created it as a reminder to shift our focus: let’s pour our energy into things that genuinely light us up, not things that leave us feeling drained, unheard, or doubting our own reality. Imagine a world where, instead of explaining ourselves over and over, we spend that time creating, healing, and connecting with people who genuinely value empathy and honesty.

Let’s reclaim that energy—no more wasted hours trying to reason with those who don’t want to understand. Here’s a roadmap to help shift from explaining to creating, from seeking validation to finding peace within ourselves:

1. Trust Your Reality: When someone twists the story, it’s easy to second-guess yourself. Instead, ground yourself in what you know to be true. You don’t owe anyone endless justifications or explanations. Hold onto your truth and let it be enough for you.

2. Hit Pause Before You Engage: The urge to defend ourselves is strong, especially when we’re misunderstood. But before diving in, ask yourself: “Is this conversation worth my energy?” Nine times out of ten, it’s not. Remember that choosing silence can be more powerful than any comeback.

3. Focus on Your Sparks: Every day, take a few minutes for something that fills you with joy—draw, dance, read, or just sit quietly. Even small moments of joy are reminders that your energy is precious, and spending it wisely is an act of self-love.

4. Surround Yourself with Empathy: Seek out people who genuinely listen, who value your voice, and who lift you up. These connections are the antidote to the drain of explaining yourself to those who don’t want to understand. Energy shared with those who “get” you is energy well-spent.

5. Redefine Success: If you’ve measured success by how well others understand you, it might be time to redefine it. Success isn’t getting someone to see your side; it’s finding empowerment, peace, and joy within yourself.

When I talk about Following Sparks, this is the heart of it: putting our energy where it builds us up and helps us grow. The world will always have those who drain, twist, and try to dim our light, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep engaging. Let’s lift up the people and projects that nurture us, and leave behind the ones that don’t.

Here’s my promise to myself, and maybe you’ll make it too: I’m choosing to reclaim my energy, to build a life filled with sparks, and to put my focus where it matters—on what lifts me up, not what wears me down.

If you are feeling drained from the 2024 US eclecion, I have a blog for that.

If you know that it's time to follow some sparks but you just can't get started, download my FREE Spark Starter Kit and check out my other resources.